Hidden Gem: Carl Schurz Park (and a little Nas)

With Nas’ song, “NY State of Mind,” blasting through my headphones, I stride through the open gates and down the boardwalk leading to the grounds of the Mayor’s backyard.

Bright orange sunlight is ripping through the clouds, bouncing off the gentle waves of the East River, and landing on the sleepy park that is just waking up. Birds dance and dive against this awe-inspiring backdrop, performing aerial stunts the Cirque du Soleil could only dream of.

With an imaginary music video playing out in my mind, I breath in the scene in front of me. Sitting on a bench to my right is a white-bearded man, dressed in a white linen shirt and pants, his long white hair overflowing out of his straw hat. He stares out at the East River with a ponderous look on his face, occasionally jotting down mysterious notes on the pad he holds in his hand.

A homeless man lies asleep on a bench to my left. A shopping cart sits next to him, full with the entirety of his life’s possessions. Fluorescent signs warning of fluoride in the water adorn the outside of the cart.

Suddenly a beautiful woman in full athletic gear whizzes right past me. The determined look on her face reveals she is ready to kick the day’s ass.

Up ahead, a few people are walking their dogs, others are riding their bikes, and even more are enjoying their morning coffee while reading the newspaper.

This is not the image most people conjure when they think about New York. But Carl Schurz Park is exactly the kind of hidden gem New Yorkers flock to when they want a break from the concrete jungle.

I take one last deep breath before I turn to walk back through the open gates, back into the city I call home. Nas’ voice comes exploding into my brain as the song nears its end, “Nothing’s equivalent, to the New York state of mind … New York state of mind.”

By Michael Halpern
Email: michaelhalpern@imaginarybrickwall.com

Fantasy Football and Luck

Can we all just admit fantasy football is mostly luck? And by mostly, I mean like 99%. It makes betting on the coin toss at the Super Bowl look like a chess match.

We all pretend we are mini, fantasy Bill Belichick’s in our mind, but by the end of the season, it always comes down to whose ligaments are still attached, or which players can even still see straight.

In one fantasy league I’m in this year, my team is in the semifinals of the playoffs. In the other, I already finished second to last. So should I be patting myself on the back for my superior fantasy skills in one league, while scolding myself for not knowing crap about fantasy football in the other?

The reigning back-to-back champion in one league missed the playoffs this year. The team who made the finals three years in a row (winning one championship) from 2010-2012, finished dead last for the last three years, with a combined record of 6-33. What happened?

Even drafting Luck, could not guarantee luck would be on your side, as every Andrew Luck owner found out this year. Luck has been sidelined with a lacerated kidney for most of the season, injuries which one doctor described as, “not very common,” and similar to, “motor vehicle crashes or motorbike crashes.” Good luck trying to predict Luck would be so unlucky.

So if you find yourself curled up in the fetal position this Sunday after being eliminated from the playoffs, bemoaning the decision to bench (insert player here) who would have won you the week, take solace in the fact it was not your fault. It is just your fault for thinking you had anything to do with the outcome in the first place.

By Michael Halpern

Addicted to NFL RedZone

It felt so wrong. Like I was about to commit an act of treason.

I tried to rationalize it. It was the first week of the fantasy football playoffs. The football pick’em league I’m in with a few friends and family was coming down to the stretch run. My New York Jets were blowing out the Tennessee Titans 20-0.

So I did it. I turned off the Jets game in the 2nd quarter and turned on the NFL RedZone channel without looking back. I’m just a man.

RedZone is like the first weekend of March Madness, except with football, and it is on every Sunday for seventeen straight weeks. If crack cocaine was a TV show, this is what it would look like. Your previous relationships start to fall by the wayside, just to get some more of that RedZone.

It is no mystery how I got to this point. It started so innocently. I would flip to RedZone during commercial breaks, but would always be hyper-vigilant about getting back to the Jets game. It was never enough though. I started not minding if I missed a few plays here and there. Then all of a sudden I was missing entire drives! I no longer recognized the fan I had become.

I can’t deny it any longer. I am addicted to NFL RedZone. So please forgive me if I’m not chanting, “J E T S JETS! JETS! JETS!” next week after a big Jets touchdown, but am instead searching for the remote, muttering, “Redzone, Redzone, Redzone,” under my breath.

By Michael Halpern

Welcome to Imaginary Brick Wall!

Welcome to Imaginary Brick Wall!

At this point, you are probably thinking, “How and why did you come up with that website name?”

To that, I would answer, “A person usually has two reasons for doing something: a good reason and the real reason.”

A good reason is it represents striving to reach your goals despite the seemingly impossible hurdles in your way. I hoped it would inspire both myself and others when they read the name, even if just a little.

The real reason is my first fifteen choices were already taken, it was now going on hour three of trying to come up with the perfect name, and probably most of all, I was literally staring at the brick wall in my apartment at the moment.

What’s in a name, anyway? Am I right (or more like, was Shakespeare right)? Substance is what really matters, and that is what I hope to provide with this website. I will cover a wide range of topics, focused mostly on sports, but also mixed with some TV, movies, music and even random misadventures I may want to pass on along the way. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

By Michael Halpern
Email: michaelhalpern@imaginarybrickwall.com

Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospects

The 2016 top 100 fantasy baseball prospect rankings roll out has begun! You can find them here:

2016 Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospect Rankings: 1-100
2016 Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospect Rankings: 1-15January 28, 2016
2016 Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospect Rankings: 16-40January 29, 2016
2016 Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospect Rankings: 41-70February 1, 2016
2016 Top 100 Fantasy Baseball Prospect Rankings: 71-100 February 2, 2016