Tip of the hat to Mike Axisa of RiverAveBlues.com who has been writing a Thoughts column for years. He is one of my favorite baseball writers and his Thoughts columns are always great. On that note, here are 6 random thoughts as Opening Day nears:

1) Don’t be afraid to jump on the players who get off to hot starts on the waiver wire. I find that every year the top breakouts are scooped within the first few weeks of the season. Don’t listen to all the experts mindlessly yelling at you to be patient with the guys you drafted. Be an animal early and often on the wire.

2) I know Joe Maddon and the Cubs are zany, but I just realized they might be taking their cues from George Costanza. After Jose Albertos utterly dominated in his first start of the season, wowing the scouts, Chicago quickly shut him down for the entire year. Sorry Theo, but Costanza already invented the “leaving on a high note” move. I’ve still been drafting him everywhere, because I love the upside, or maybe it’s just because I love Larry David style mind games.

3) Johnny Cueto and Evan Longoria are 31 … not 41. I find these guys being discounted in Dynasty as if they are Adrian Beltre, who incidentally, everyone has been trying to put a fork in for several years too. Owning young breakout candidates and prospects is a lot of fun, but you know what else is fun … winning now. And you can grab fun breakout guys later in the draft who are valued properly, not valued like they already broke out.

4) If you don’t have Netflix, it is worth buying this month just to see Dave Chappelle’s new stand-up special, The Age of Spin: Dave Chappelle Live at the Hollywood Palladium. There is nothing more I can possibly say that would do it any justice at all. Jim Norton and Mike Birbiglia also had hysterical recently released Netflix specials.

5) I’ve been ending up with either Greg Bird or Tommy Joseph in every draft, but never both. One always goes way too early, and the other goes way too late. In Ralph’s Friends & Family RCL League, I got Bird super late, while Joseph went in the middle rounds. In my hometown Dynasty, there was a bidding war over Bird which escalated to $22, while I was able to snag Joseph for $5.50. I should mention 80% of that league are Yankees fans.

6) I was probably far too excited to finally receive the spoils from my hard-fought hometown Dynasty League victory (pictured below). All of Saturday night, I wore the Championship Belt on my shoulder like a goddamn WWE Superstar out drinking with my league mates. At one point, this smoking hot bartender came up to me with the biggest smile on her face and asked me how I won the belt. I proudly told her, “I won my fantasy baseball league last year.” I’ve never seen a smile wipe off someone’s face faster as she said, “Oh, I thought you won a boxing tournament or something.” The male bartender was still super interested though. Fantasy Baseball: Repelling Women and Attracting Dudes for Over 30 Years.

By Michael Halpern (@MichaelCHalpern)
Email: michaelhalpern@imaginarybrickwall.com
Twitter: Imaginary Brick Wall (@ImaginaryBrickW)